We live in a round the clock news cycle where repetition is rife. There seems to be little good news while a vast proportion is saddening and depressing. Indeed some of the tripe or lifestyle news we are subjected to really does make you scream at the newspaper you're reading, the radio or the device you're watching. Here's your chance to respond to a given headline with up to a 30 line poem or a 300 word story. Submissions will be published on this page and eventually feature in their own book.
December 2024
About 11 million people, a quarter of the working age population aged 16 to 64 do not have a job.
April 2024
Shoplifting is on the rise in the UK
Get rid of it
by Kamran Connelly
As the roller shutter went up it hummed with electronic assistance, as it wound in on itself to reveal the shop front window. Steve, who was stood at the box that operated them, didn’t notice the anomaly on the other side of the glass until he put his key into the door. Sat on the floor licking its gigantic paws was a German Shepherd, completely unknown to him. He jolted back as his eyes registered the image with his brain, and confusion besieged him. A car pulled in behind him and his business partner jumped out, gleeful and full of beans he arrived at his side.
“Well, what do think?” he asked.
Steve looked at him, smirking like an idiot and then back to the strange canine beyond the door.
“What do I think of what?” he replied.
“The dog, I got him last night. Thought I’d surprise ya.”
“Mission accomplished Terry, now tell me what the hell we’re supposed to do with him mate.”
“I told you I saw that documentary, shoplifting is on the rise in the UK. He’s fully trained to attack under command,” Terry bragged.
The pair gazed at the beautiful beast, its coat a mottled mixture of browns, more wolf-like in its size and presence.
“He looks the business doesn’t he?” Terry said with pride.
“Yeah, he does. Come here mate,” Steve said and guided Terry a few feet back from the window with a disappointed look.
He pointed at the sign over the shop. Terry looked up at it.
“What do we sell here Terry?”
“Holidays,” answered Terry.
“We’re a bloody travel agents Terry! There’s nothing to nick you idiot.”
Realisation smacked the pride from Terry’s face.
“Get rid of it,” Steve said and walked away.
Only the essentials
by Donna Turner
“That’s thirty-four pounds ninety, please love,” the cashier says to a young woman trying to balance a baby with one arm and reach for her purse with the other.
“Sorry. I don’t have enough.” Her eyes watery, her voice breaking, “Can I put something back?”
The cashier feels a lump form in her throat. This is a situation becoming more common.
Three customers yesterday had to take items off and one man had his card declined. After mumbling something about a missed payment, he left empty handed.
“That’s fine, how much do we need to lose?” she asked the young woman kindly.
“About five pounds please.”
The cashier felt worse. Sometimes customers got angry, but this woman was just sad, almost defeated. The cashier looked at the shopping; baby formula, value bread and beans, a few freezer fillers, toilet paper, there was nothing that didn’t feel like an essential item.
“I’ve just remembered,” the cashier told the young woman, “a customer earlier had a five pound voucher they didn’t need, they said keep it and give it to someone else. How about we use that?”
The young woman was visibly relieved. “Thank you, that would be great,” she said, struggling now to keep the tears from falling. The cashier took the young woman’s thirty pounds and put it in the till. She’d need to put the five pounds in later otherwise she’d be in trouble for her till being short.
She thanked the young mum and watched her walk towards the door, only to be stopped by the resident security guard.
“Excuse me miss,” he reached down to the basket under the battered buggy and pulled out a pack of nappies. “I don’t believe you’ve paid for these, You’ll have to come with me.”
The cashier's heart broke.
Open your windows
(inspiration from the 1976 film, Network)
I used to be afraid
of the angry dog next door, named Sugar.
Then I was afraid of swallowing an apple
pip, which could grow a tree inside me;
I stayed awake one long eye-wide night
waiting for its leafy branches to rustle
out of my ears at the speed of creation
birthing apples to outnumber the stars
and me ending as a five dollar-a-view circus freak!
My mother loved scary stories
though one night in a sweat I screamed,
"Mum! There’s a man
with a gun at my window!"
"Go back to sleep," said she yawing in her room.
How was I to know it was a shadow
shaped by a dead tree between the moon
onto my bedroom window!
Older, my wings grew and I flew
far from manipulating men
until I found a man dressed in white
who loves God greater than he loves me
then fear moved on to terrify someone else.
But lately my soul is vibrating
waiting for a knife to plunge my heart
in a supermarket – for a drone
to bomb my home – someone to murder me
as I walk in the bush alone. And nobody will
be gathering mushrooms from the shelves now;
I wonder if tinned mushroom soup is fatal?
I knelt in a church in a country town
and entered the fear-filled hush
of a congregation halfway through Mass
as thick oak doors slammed bang open
against the walls as a storm-filled man
thundered up the centre isle to the priest
yelling and waving his arms about.
"I want to speak to the Pope!"
Three men stood ready to save the priest -
thank God the man didn’t have a weapon!
Now I’m watching wars that need not happen,
causing children to starve and keel
to pick grains of rice out of dirt.
Before long Australia will be
a country of memorials!
I beg all people to NOW stand up!
‘Stand up from your chairs: man, woman and child
open your windows – stick your heads out
and yell, "I’m mad as hell
and I’m not going to take it any more!"
Jan Price
You walk in
without a care in the world, it seems
you help yourself
to the drinks, to the sandwiches
maybe you are just dirty thieves, scoundrels
or maybe you are desperate
hungry and starving
we do not know what life you lead
maybe you are desperate and take drugs and need money
so you swap food for cash
we see you, we notice you stealing
but maybe we are not noticing the reason why
when we look, when we serve
but don't think we don't care when we stand there
we walk in, we notice
but when all is said and done
you shoplift
and it is WRONG!
Kate Geoghegan
About 11 million people, a quarter of the working age population aged 16 to 64 do not have a job.
April 2024
Shoplifting is on the rise in the UK
Get rid of it
by Kamran Connelly
As the roller shutter went up it hummed with electronic assistance, as it wound in on itself to reveal the shop front window. Steve, who was stood at the box that operated them, didn’t notice the anomaly on the other side of the glass until he put his key into the door. Sat on the floor licking its gigantic paws was a German Shepherd, completely unknown to him. He jolted back as his eyes registered the image with his brain, and confusion besieged him. A car pulled in behind him and his business partner jumped out, gleeful and full of beans he arrived at his side.
“Well, what do think?” he asked.
Steve looked at him, smirking like an idiot and then back to the strange canine beyond the door.
“What do I think of what?” he replied.
“The dog, I got him last night. Thought I’d surprise ya.”
“Mission accomplished Terry, now tell me what the hell we’re supposed to do with him mate.”
“I told you I saw that documentary, shoplifting is on the rise in the UK. He’s fully trained to attack under command,” Terry bragged.
The pair gazed at the beautiful beast, its coat a mottled mixture of browns, more wolf-like in its size and presence.
“He looks the business doesn’t he?” Terry said with pride.
“Yeah, he does. Come here mate,” Steve said and guided Terry a few feet back from the window with a disappointed look.
He pointed at the sign over the shop. Terry looked up at it.
“What do we sell here Terry?”
“Holidays,” answered Terry.
“We’re a bloody travel agents Terry! There’s nothing to nick you idiot.”
Realisation smacked the pride from Terry’s face.
“Get rid of it,” Steve said and walked away.
Only the essentials
by Donna Turner
“That’s thirty-four pounds ninety, please love,” the cashier says to a young woman trying to balance a baby with one arm and reach for her purse with the other.
“Sorry. I don’t have enough.” Her eyes watery, her voice breaking, “Can I put something back?”
The cashier feels a lump form in her throat. This is a situation becoming more common.
Three customers yesterday had to take items off and one man had his card declined. After mumbling something about a missed payment, he left empty handed.
“That’s fine, how much do we need to lose?” she asked the young woman kindly.
“About five pounds please.”
The cashier felt worse. Sometimes customers got angry, but this woman was just sad, almost defeated. The cashier looked at the shopping; baby formula, value bread and beans, a few freezer fillers, toilet paper, there was nothing that didn’t feel like an essential item.
“I’ve just remembered,” the cashier told the young woman, “a customer earlier had a five pound voucher they didn’t need, they said keep it and give it to someone else. How about we use that?”
The young woman was visibly relieved. “Thank you, that would be great,” she said, struggling now to keep the tears from falling. The cashier took the young woman’s thirty pounds and put it in the till. She’d need to put the five pounds in later otherwise she’d be in trouble for her till being short.
She thanked the young mum and watched her walk towards the door, only to be stopped by the resident security guard.
“Excuse me miss,” he reached down to the basket under the battered buggy and pulled out a pack of nappies. “I don’t believe you’ve paid for these, You’ll have to come with me.”
The cashier's heart broke.
Open your windows
(inspiration from the 1976 film, Network)
I used to be afraid
of the angry dog next door, named Sugar.
Then I was afraid of swallowing an apple
pip, which could grow a tree inside me;
I stayed awake one long eye-wide night
waiting for its leafy branches to rustle
out of my ears at the speed of creation
birthing apples to outnumber the stars
and me ending as a five dollar-a-view circus freak!
My mother loved scary stories
though one night in a sweat I screamed,
"Mum! There’s a man
with a gun at my window!"
"Go back to sleep," said she yawing in her room.
How was I to know it was a shadow
shaped by a dead tree between the moon
onto my bedroom window!
Older, my wings grew and I flew
far from manipulating men
until I found a man dressed in white
who loves God greater than he loves me
then fear moved on to terrify someone else.
But lately my soul is vibrating
waiting for a knife to plunge my heart
in a supermarket – for a drone
to bomb my home – someone to murder me
as I walk in the bush alone. And nobody will
be gathering mushrooms from the shelves now;
I wonder if tinned mushroom soup is fatal?
I knelt in a church in a country town
and entered the fear-filled hush
of a congregation halfway through Mass
as thick oak doors slammed bang open
against the walls as a storm-filled man
thundered up the centre isle to the priest
yelling and waving his arms about.
"I want to speak to the Pope!"
Three men stood ready to save the priest -
thank God the man didn’t have a weapon!
Now I’m watching wars that need not happen,
causing children to starve and keel
to pick grains of rice out of dirt.
Before long Australia will be
a country of memorials!
I beg all people to NOW stand up!
‘Stand up from your chairs: man, woman and child
open your windows – stick your heads out
and yell, "I’m mad as hell
and I’m not going to take it any more!"
Jan Price
You walk in
without a care in the world, it seems
you help yourself
to the drinks, to the sandwiches
maybe you are just dirty thieves, scoundrels
or maybe you are desperate
hungry and starving
we do not know what life you lead
maybe you are desperate and take drugs and need money
so you swap food for cash
we see you, we notice you stealing
but maybe we are not noticing the reason why
when we look, when we serve
but don't think we don't care when we stand there
we walk in, we notice
but when all is said and done
you shoplift
and it is WRONG!
Kate Geoghegan
